The PCs started the session still inside a ruined living module of the Ancients, deep below the world. There, they had found a single Ancient, a young girl in a stasis pod, and now are determined to get her out of there, recognizing her potentially incredible value.
Here were the interesting quips and events of the session:
-"He's living for the moment."
"that's good!"
"No, I mean he's living, for the moment."
-"the Science Brain is the only chance of finding out what happened to my people"
"We're probably going to end up destroying the Science Brain, you know."
"Why? Why do you always destroy everything??"
*shrug*
-"Whatever mutation the radioactive core gave you, it's not going to get any worse than it is at the present moment."
"That's not reassuring!"
-"You can hear BOLT-0 from the top floor.. he's in singing mode"
"RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD..."
Suddenly, the party is attacked by Shadows!
-"Is the Brahmin actually trying to trash-talk the incorporeal undead?"
-"There's only two things you know about the Insane Witches of Fondling Hills... the first is that they're witches. The second? They're insane"
"They also live in a place called the 'fondling hills'..."
-"The Dwarf Wizard cut off one of his own fingertips to spellburn.. he really wants to do 4d12+Lv damage against the Shadow. And save his own ass of course."
-"Fuck Turn Undead.. it's time for Divine Aid!"
-"G.O.D. is beneficent... but he's also useless."
-After the Brahmin takes three hits of friendly-fire from Ropework the Wizard and Dwarf Wizard's pistol shots: "STOP HELPING!"
-It's a special moment when the Cleric realizes that 'divine light' is really just the flash from the camera app in his tablet.
-"The magic nunchucks you're wielding give you a really strong psychic sense that you want to destroy these motherfucking shadows... but then, you probably already felt that anyways."
-"I probably should have done this a lot earlier, but I now cast Holy Sanctuary."
-"The warrior can finish off that last shadow, he can protect himself.. well, in theory".
-"If the brahmin warrior we just left back there dies, we're going to have to put 'death by shitbags' on his tombstone"
"oh please, its not like we're going to go back and bury the body!"
-"I'm not a psycho... I'm a Dwarf!"
The party members have found three more cryo-tubes, these ones having two primitive humans (not "ancients"), a Dwarven Pharmacist, and a duck!
-"Does anyone here speak Duck?"
"I only speak lizard, spider and worm, sorry."
"You didn't have any friends when you were younger, did you?"
"Dude, please, I was an engineer!"
"He used to hang out with all the lizards and worms... but not the cool worms"
-"THE JUVENILE ANCIENT APPEARS TO HAVE SUFFERED PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA. BOLT-0 IS ENTERING COMFORTING MODE... THERE THERE, THERE THERE.."
-The Brahmin warrior, to the 11 year old girl: "Stop crying and woman up".
-"I think at this point the Cleric ought to be officially in charge of the party"
"It makes sense, I'll be the last one left alive anyways"
-"What's your name?"
"I'm Doctor Ack'Basha"
-"You're a pharmacist? So you use Leeches?"
"Have we gone backward in time?!"
-"we found this thing called a Seed Pod.. it says 'warning' and that we it should only be used as directed..." *cue immediately pressing the activation button and releasing a cloud of deadly spores that kills one of the human newbies, and the duck*
"What a tragedy.. he was a mighty duck!"
-The party runs right into a corridor after hearing the mutants they were chasing very audibly being disemboweled. There, they encounter a four-armed Murder Robot!
-"Goddamnit, I give you the Primo Staff for one second to fight the robot and you let it disarm you?!"
-"The dwarven pharmacist tried to pick up the Primo Staff, and now he's tripping balls! I knew it was a good idea not to warn him!"
-Once again, between the two wizards and their firearms, the Brahmin has more back injuries from friendly-fire than from the Murder Robot.
-"It is unbelievably stressful to be the warrior in this party!"
-"does my rage give me a bonus?"
"dude, your character is constantly enraged. You'd probably get a penalty if you ever weren't full of rage"
-"I've cut off two of the fucking robot's arms and blinded him, and he just won't stop.. it's the robot version of the black knight from Monty Python!"
-The robot is finally slain, right after incapacitating the Brahmin warrior. His last words: "TELL BOLT-0 HELLO!"
-"why the fuck is it that all robots have exactly the same voice?!"
-"I put my helmet back on so no one can see my tears"
-The 11-year old girl, to the brahmin warrior: "Stop crying and woman up!"
-"You've sunk to a new low, you've just been dissed by a little girl".
-"We've found the Science Brain! How much do you want to bet it's insane?"
"SILENCE! WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE?"
-"Why the hell does the Science Brain also sound like BOLT-0?"
"SILENCE! YOU ARE MISTAKEN! BOLT-O AND ALL OTHER ROBOTS SOUND LIKE ME!!"
-"SILENCE! THIS ENTIRE COMPLEX HAS BEEN UNEXPECTEDLY SHRUNKEN! BEDROCK COLLAPSE IS IMMINENT!"
"Wait, you mean the Dwarf Wizard's misfire of the Enlarge spell has doomed the last complex of the Ancients?"
"SILENCE! YES."
-The party manages to just barely escape the collapsing complex, on an Escape Rocket! It blasts them back to the inner surface and crash-lands on one of the flying islands.
-The group immediately runs into deadly Giant Beetle-Wasps. The Brahmin warrior is overjoyed at having a chance to regain his honor, only to be again incapacitated by a stinger.
-"dude, at this point that Ancient Exoarmor's main role is to hide your humiliation"
-"We've killed off the Beetle-Wasps. The Dwarf-Wizard's Magic Shield spell lasted just long enough to make him completely useless in the fight"
The adventure finished off for the night with the PCs trekking across the grassland of the floating island, up the hills, and getting to an Ancient Tower which was probably the rocket's pre-programmed destination. When they get there, in the middle of a thunderstorm, they are let in by a human in a Victorian Butler's costume. "Good evening.. you are just in time for Lady Norrington's party!"
-"Oh shit, I can smell a haunted house adventure coming on..."
RPGPundit
Currently Smoking: Dunhill Amber Root Bulldog + C&D's Crowley's Best
As always, an amazing adventure!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for the Haunted Xmas Special :P
Hounted house of Sez?