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Thursday, 30 June 2016

Thoughts on Game of Thrones, and Feminism

So last night I only just got around to watching the finale of this season of Game of Thrones.  And what a trip it's been! We see now a set up where almost every important action-guy type male character is dead or sidelined (except Jon Snow) and women have become the principal players everywhere.

This, I noticed, has led to renewed questions of whether Game of Thrones is a feminist fairy tale or not.  Last season, Feminism was busy horribly condemning Game of Thrones as terrible sexist misogyny.  This season, where women did a lot of the ass kicking, it's suddenly a feminist masterpiece. I found it very interesting to see that depictions of women murdering large numbers of men seems like proper feminist values to some of these commentators, like they've taken their masks off.

Of course, some are more sophisticated than that, like this Washington Post piece which claims that Game of Thrones has strong feminist characters but that the real theme of the world is how hard it is to escape the evils of 'misogynist culture'.  The argument made is that there are a lot of great empowered women in GoT now, but that they're forced to do horrible 'misogynist' things, because the fundamental problem being the culture itself.

Now, aside from the fact that this sounds like a standard Maoist rallying cry for "let's create Utopia by tossing away the entire old order!" (never mind that the part they try to downplay is that the tossing away will require the deaths of millions, and the new utopia will be enforced by a total ban on human freedom), I found something else very interesting in that line of argument: it lays bare the nonsensical nature of what modern Third-Wave Feminism has come to describe as "misogyny".

Cersei is "misogynist" because she is mean to other women, killed a lot of women and men, let her son torture people, etc.
Daenerys is "misogynist" because she killed a bunch of people, in spite of her promises of wanting to do things a new way has always had to use violence to obtain power, and has been quick to either run away or fall back on old ways of power-mongering when anything threatens her utopian daydreaming.

Sansa is "misogynist" because she is still relying on the old system of allegiances of the patriarchal system and because she let the northern lords put Jon and not her on the throne of the "King in the North".
Melisandre is "misogynist" because she encouraged people to be burned at the stake in the name of a god.
Olena Tyrell is "misogynist" because she wants nothing more than revenge and to see Cersei destroyed for the death of her entire family.

Arya wasn't mentioned in the WP article but I'm sure she's "misogynist" too.  And of course, the women of Dorne are pretty well monsters.

The point of this, and what I'm getting to here, is that the article lays bare the truth of what it means when a Third-Wave Feminist talks about "patriarchy" or "misogyny":  they just mean human evil as it is.

The shitty part is that they've decided that all human evil must be given a masculine gender.

The thing they're having trouble handling, in Game of Thrones, is that it lays bare the nature of human evil; it's not a heroic tale of perfect heroes and totally dastardly villains, like we're used to from classic fantasy. It's not even a story of of a world that might be grey but the hero is fundamentally really good.  It's a series that defies all conventions of fantasy by presenting its characters as totally flawed, imperfect, utterly HUMAN, as anyone in our real world is.

When Feminists say "Misogyny", what they're really doing is trying to transfer the true, utterly inescapable nature of all fundamentally flawed humanity over to being the fault of one gender.

Which is not just stupid, and monstrous, it is impossible. But most of all, it's ironic: the movement that claims to despise gender roles has given evil a gender role. And in so doing, made it clear what they really despise: not men (well, yes, obviously they despise men or they wouldn't assign ALL HUMAN EVIL to the masculine gender), but more profoundly they despise humanity itself. They hate the idea that it's not just men's fault, and that we cannot create a Perfect Utopia in this world when we magically get rid of the Bad Things, because our human nature demands that instead we create progressively improved systems of actually dealing with human imperfections we will never get rid of (you know, systems like capitalism, rule of law, democracy, and government: all the things they call the 'patriarchy', which are not actually the source of all evils but the best method so far devised to mitigate human imperfection).

So here's my prediction: in the upcoming two seasons, sooner or later, you are going to see some of the same Feminists who are praising the 'strong female characters' we see in GoT today end up howling with outrage of how 'sexist' or 'anti-woman' GoT is. Because for GoT to be what it is, unless the producers end up utterly betraying the entire nature of the story in order to placate the demands of totalitarians, it will now HAVE to show "strong female characters" being complete pieces of shit, like human beings often are.  And worse still, being complete pieces of shit AT EACH OTHER. Because there is no Big Bad Male left for them all to hate.

Excepting the Ice King of course, but if the producers just put aside the whole of the last 6 seasons (and books) to turn the endgame of GoT into a fairy tale that ends with all the women teaming up and becoming besties to kill the Ice King and make feminist utopia where all the big bad men have been pushed away and culture is remade so that everything will be better because people won't be human anymore, that still ends up proving my point, better even than the alternative (of feminist writers squealing about the women characters on the show being awful to each other), because it shows just how impossible their arguments and flawed their fundamental philosophies really are.


Currently Smoking: Lorenzetti Quiete + Peterson's Balkan Delight

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Classic Rant: Why RPGs Fail

Why do Commercial RPGs Fail?

There's a pretty short list, really. Avoid those and you will avoid most of the pitfalls that can keep your game from being a success:

1. Lack of Promotion: Before getting into anything about the writing or content of the RPG itself, this is the single biggest reason why an RPG would fail. It doesn't matter if you've written a masterpiece; if no one knows your RPG exists, then it will fail. Make sure everyone does, and even a mediocre RPG stands a chance of doing well.
Ironically, this is one of the areas where many would-be writers fail to pay proper attention; they discount the whole concept as though "if you build it, they will come" was the only guideline they needed. 

2. Unclear writing: the game might be full of potential greatness, but if no one can actually make sense of what you're saying, you're fucked. Get an editor.

3. Too much front-end commitment: if you have to memorize 10000 words of jargon, or remember that some stupid word with no vowels in it is what they use instead of "shield" in the game setting, or in some other way have to learn massive amounts of stuff UP FRONT, from the beginning, that relates only to your game, odds are most people won't bother.

4.The System Sucks: Of course, system is one of those things that falls on a spectrum: you say "GURPS" and one gamer might get wood at the thought of all that delicious point-buy and pseudo-realism, while another might cringe. But there's that, and then there's systems that just suck. If you have to do quadratic equations to play your game, or if you are missing a certain table vital to determining outcomes of most battles, or if there's a low-level spell in your game that basically makes the entire party invulnerable forever, then you've got a system that just plain sucks ass. Some people resolve this through playtesting; I think it's important besides that to have a "mechanics editor", someone apart from the regular editor (the guy who makes sure you don't have the aforementioned crap writing), that specializes in understanding how games work. Your regular editor need not be that (shit, it could be someone who's never played a game in their life), but your "mechanics editor" should be a guy who can look at something you just wrote and explain "that means that in your game nobody could ever have a high enough skill to successfully drive at speeds above 30km/hr", or whatnot.

And finally:

5. Pretentiousness & "Too Weird to Live": Both of these are categories of things that, one must admit, have had successful games. Of course, they've had far more utter failures. Generally speaking, the pretentious games that succeeded were ones that were not derivative of existing pretentious games. The whole point of a game full of pretentiousness is to make its reader feel like they're special just for "getting it"; if you are doing something that is an obvious cheap copy of an existing Pretentious work, you'll never get there. Consider how Vampire spawned an entire brood of copycat "dark", "gothy", edgy, "storytelling", "deep" games (i.e. 50 metric fucktons of bullshit), none of which anyone remembers today.

As for just-plain-weird games, their problem is that they're weird. That makes it hard for people to get the point of them, and odds are they'll fail. Bizarre settings that have no obvious sense of cultural connection to anything we know tend to be pretty hard to roleplay in. Your best shot in these cases is to try to make your writing as clear as possible, do massive amounts of promotion in the hopes of finding someone who digs your endless cultural essays on "the tgunslanttrhru rituals of the Ksaltohyanu", and pray that someone creates a small band of obsessive fanatics who'll buy everything you write, guaranteeing a tiny but loyal customer-base. 


(Originally Posted June 20, 2011)

Tuesday, 28 June 2016 Tuesday: Secret Societies Edition

So, this week on, I bring you a list of 21 of the Strangest Secret Societies in History!

You've probably heard of the Freemasons before, and the Knights of Columbus, and maybe the Oddfellows, but now you can get the real historical facts on them all.  Not to mention the Gormogons, Oculists, the Big Swords Society, the Thuggees, The Assassins, the Invisible College and, yes, even the dreaded Bavarian Illuminati.

So, please check it out, +1 it, reshare it, comment if you like, and all that jazz!


Currently Smoking: Moretti Rhodesian + Gawith's Squadron Leader

Monday, 27 June 2016

More Pictures From Uruguay!

Well, time for another quick pic-post of images from around my local area of Montevideo!

First off, some more street art.  Check out this laundromat and its aquatic theme:

Next up, I think I may have found Uruguayan Batman's secret lair:

Hopscotch is also a popular kid's game here, still.  This one has a note that "this is the best corner on the planet"!

Since it's on my block, I can't really disagree.

Finally, a peek through the window of the Esmeralda, which is maybe the best 'confiteria' in town:

You can see the pastries from the window, they're incredible.  The Esmeralda also specializes in little sandwiches of different varieties. But their best offering, and something you absolutely should not pass up if you are even in Montevideo, is their "picada".  A "picada" is a selection of small bowls of different foods, mostly finger-foods.  A lot of bars and restaurants have picadas, where what you mostly get are some potato chips, blocks of cheese, some salami, olives and peanuts.  But the "picada" at the Esmeralda is different, it's a stunning selection of a dozen different things: home-made potato chips, peanuts, potato salad, waldorf salad, savory pastries, a selection of their famous sandwiches, your choice of alcoholic or non-alcoholic drink, caviar, cheese, mini empanadas, hot cheese sticks, and chicken strognoff, finished off with a desert plate of sweet pastries. And you get all that, often more than you could eat, for under $10 a person.

Well, that's all for today.


Currently Smoking: Dunhill Diplomat + C&D's Crowley's Best

Sunday, 26 June 2016

Fantastic Video Review of Dark Albion!

So, here's the Savage GM, giving us a very emphatic review of Dark Albion.  It's great, very thorough, and you can totally feel the enthusiasm he has for the book in it! Check it out:

A couple of notes:

1. I definitely got inspiration from Game of Thrones, but besides that I probably got as much inspiration from Shakespeare's historical saga plays.

2. I'm really happy he liked the Appendix P house rules! I do want to note that while Savage GM points out that "you advance in level very quickly", from level 0 to level 3 or so, I would also note that a key of the system (and why it works in Albion's low-level environment, a characteristic of the setting the video pointed out) is that after that you start to advance a lot slower.  So the rules let you get up to "expert" level faster than most OSR games but then lingers longer in what I feel is that sweet-spot between levels 4-9.

3. I totally get what he means by it, but I do think its adorable that the Savage GM associates "Cornwall" with "elegance".  For viewers who've never been to the UK, that's a bit like associating "Arkansas" with "decorum".

4. By some bizarre twist of fate, the Savage GM's real life accent (at least, I assume it's real) sounds almost exactly like the accent I use when I'm playing Zeke Bodean, Scriptural Archeologist in my DCC campaign. I couldn't let this entry go without pointing that out.

Anyways, check out the video, +1 it, like it, and Tell The People all about the awesomeness that is Dark Albion!


Currently Smoking: Lorenzetti Volcano + H&H's Beverwyck

Saturday, 25 June 2016

DCC Campaign Update: Unnecessarily Complicated Origin Stories

So, in our last adventure, the PCs had just been kidnapped by the Time Dinosaurs, who apparently took them back thousands of years to the early years of the great disaster, where they were observers of a catastrophic battle between the heroic (but asshole-ish) Pythian Knights and hordes of tentacled monstrosities in the service of the Dark Ones.

Oh, and BOLT-0 had been destroyed, and Bill the Elf was still frozen in carbonite.


-"You guys realize that this is a universe where the religious fundamentalist is the least shitty guy it the room?"

-"Outside the time-ship there are flying fortresses, mechas and power armored elves, fighting demons and giant monsters... it looks like something out of a Palladium setting!"

-Before sending them out on their mission, the Time Dinosaurs hold a church service. Apparently they're very religious, but in a Church of England kind of way (all fancy dressed and mumbling dinosaur hymns at a half-sleeping dinosaur vicar).

-The Time Dinosaurs try to explain to the PCs their extremely complex mission in this time period, but since they can't speak Common that proves very difficult.  Trying to play charades with their tiny arms is at best partially helpful.

-Eventually giving up on explaining any further, the Time Dinosaurs give the PCs a box with a big red button that the PCs figure is to teleport them back in an emergency, and dump them right in the middle of the demon-army/mecha-elf battlefield.

-"We've got to make a run for those fortresses!"
"Fishman, I want you to know, in case I don't make it.. I love you like a brother!"
"And I want you to know, Zeke... I would be so fucking happy if you died!"

-Evading missiles and arcane bolts, the PCs are heading toward what look like some kind of elven fortresses, but get intercepted by some ground troops using hover-tanks that transform into giant robots.
"of course they do... do they make the 'transformer' sound when they change?"

-"Where the hell did you come from?!"
"we have been sent by G.O.D. my friend.. well, by G.O.D. and Dinosaurs!"

-(in elven) "Don't move or we'll disintegrate you!"
"What are they saying?"
"Zeke, quick, run as fast as you can!!"

-Scriptural Archaeologist Zeke Bodean falls for the Fishman's trick and starts running.  The Mecha-tanks fire at him as he flees, but he manages to zag out of the way.
"Should we hunt him down and kill him, sir?"
"...please... please..."
"No, leave him. He can't possibly survive out there anyways"
"God damnit!!"

-The PCs learn they have been captured by the Badass Elves, a race of elves they've never heard of, who all look and act like cool anime elves with high-tech weapons and armor.

-"These two must be mutated humans. We'd heard of such things happening."
"Yes, we are"
"Kill them!"

-The PCs manage to convince the Badass Elves to momentarily not kill the non-humans of their party, and even have them accepting their story about being from the distant future.
"I mean look at them! They MUST come from some horrible future where there are no elves left to tell them what to do!"

-"Seriously, I think we should just kill those two; they can't possibly want to live like this"
"Yes we do!!"

-"We must take these prisoners to Sky Base 1"
"We're more guests than prisoners, really"
"No, you're prisoners."

-Sent up to the Pythian Elves' Sky Base 1, they meet Sir Constantine, the Tolkien-movie-like beardo-elf commander of the valiant but super-arrogant Pythian Knights.
"Can you give me one good reason why I should let these abominations live, human?"
"Well, it's really hard to find good help in the future!"

-"So in your future, have the elves all been wiped out?"
"No, there's still a few, but they're mostly assholes... so, much like today".

-"Sir, the Dwarven units on our left ground flank have been wiped out... by a Shoggoth!"
"We have nothing that can defeat it."
"...Have you got any drugs?"

-While the Pythian elves fight the Shoggoth, the 'abomination' Fishman and Chu are put in a holding cell.
"While we're in jail, have you got any games we can play?"
"What about Cards Against Humanity?"
"We're two mutants on trial for our lives as mutants. I don't think that playing Cards Against HUMANITY would really send the right message just now."
"No, no, you misheard, I meant Cards Against CHUmanity!"

-Meanwhile, Ack'Basha finds out that in the distant past, apparently people didn't know the logical way of ordering things, like by nose-size.

-He also finds out that the Hipster Elves don't exist yet, but there were 'Art Elves', who he suspects were their less lame ancestors.

-"You know, we're going to kill you, monsters!"
"Dude, you died long before we were even born!"
"Yeah, we win by default! Suck on that!"

-In spite of the modified weed-bomb actually driving away the Shoggoth (future Bob?) in a drug-filled haze, Sir Constantine decides that they're going to drop the "nova bomb" anyways, to wipe out as much of the Dark-One forces they can in order to buy time.  The Nova Bomb will disintegrate everything in a 1000 mile radius, turning the whole area into a "Dust Sea".  Sir Constantine explains that this will give them the room they need to complete construction of their great 'secret weapon': The Pythian Living Mecha, a 100ft tall artificial-intelligence war-machine robot that they hope will lay waste to the hordes of the Dark Ones.

-Sick of it all, especially the Elves, the PCs decide to press the Time Dinosaur box with a big red button, and they are instantly teleported back onto the Time Dinosaur vessel.  Even Zeke Bodean, who miraculous survived the battlefront by using his skills as a Scriptural Archeologist to find what he thinks is the silver cape of the prophet Jebodachiah, though in fact it's more likely a Pythian MDC Cloak.

-The time dinosaurs start flying through time again, and the Time Dinosaur captain starts giving them incomprehensible mission instructions again.
"WAIT! Do you not get that we don't understand a word you're saying? None of us speak Dinosaur! Let me cast Comprehend Languages.... aw fuck, I failed and can't cast it again for the day.."
"You had ONE job..."

-The PCs are dropped off some two thousand years after their last stop, which is still around eight thousand years in the past for them.  They find out that they're in the cold north, where there is a mighty (and likely losing) war looming between the minuscule forces of the human and mutant races, against the much larger demonic army of the Daemon Zzaszz, who threatens to conquer everything in his path.  They run into a band of adventurers, which includes a sexy human wizardess named Arkaea (with a cool staff that turns into a huge snake), a very much not yet dead (and possibly not yet a Chaos Lord) Borquist, a Science Elf named Fred, and a gruff greek-accented warrior named... Nikos. Nikos insists that he's a perfectly ordinary warrior and definitely not a wizard. Nikos is also very obviously bad at lying.

-The PCs figure that whatever the time dinosaurs sent them here for might have to do with Fred, who has a cart full of old science artifacts back at the camp.  In order to be allowed to join them, the PCs are required to pay Borquist a bribe.  The Fishman tries to fulfill this demand with the "Ancient Artifact" he carries on his person, but Fred thwarts that by using his science knowledge to point out that it's just a common drill.
"Well, a drill could kill someone!"
"Not good enough, mate."

-Ack'basha finally covers the bribe with a bag full of Smithplium pieces.
"What the fuck are these? What am I supposed to do with them?? They're bloody GREEN!"
"Trust me, they'll be worth a lot in a few thousand years."
"...I guess they'll do then"

-"Nikos is obviously THAT Nikos, right?"

-When the PCs get to the other party's camp, they find it under attack by a gang of feral halflings in the service of Zzaszz!  They've already murdered Pepito, the last member of Borquist's group, and are threatening the very cart of technological goodies the PCs think they're here to get to!
"Pepito! Nooo, not Pepito!"

-"You see? I am Nikos, totally a normal human warrior and obviously mortal!"

-"Wow, Chu is very good at pretending to be warrior! Nikos could learn thing or two from Chu!"

-The halflings being driven away, Borquist mourns Pepito's death by looting his corpse and robbing his sombrero.

-The PCs get into Fred's cart, and find that he has the brain of the Pythian Living Mecha.  It turns out that the Pythian Knights did end up building the mecha, and it was instrumental in turning the war around, until it was destroyed in the final apocalyptic battle between the Knights and the Shoggoth hordes.  The war ended in stalemate with both forces largely destroyed.

-It also turns out that Fred is building his own combat robot, which he's going to put the brain into, a war machine to fight Zzaszz, which he's naming Blastr-0.  He really has high hopes that he'll be able to use his invention to help make the world a better place.  The PCs generally agree that Fred is a hopelessly naive idiot and will probably die soon.

-That night, the PCs help the other party keep watch, while they wait for Fred to copy the schematics of the Living Mecha brain, which they assume is what the Time Dinosaurs sent them here to get.

-Chu inadvertently tells Nikos pretty much everything. Including how future Nikos set everyone up to enter the Crown of Creation and kidnap G.O.D.
"Really?  Nikos did this? It sound like really good idea! Nikos would never thought of that by himself, my friend!"
"oh fuck."

-Zeke Bodean gets up in the night and really wants to talk to Chu away from Nikos.
"I have to go to the bathroom. Chu, don't y'all think you want to go to the bathroom with me?"
"Sure, because it's totally not suspicious for two men to go to the bathroom together. In the future men do that all the time."
"That's right. We do that all the time... in a totally non-sinful way mind you!"

-Once they're alone, Zeke reveals that he "strongly suspects" Nikos might be THAT Nikos.
"Seriously? You brought me here for that??"

-Zeke also thinks "G.O.D. is acting through the Time Dinosaurs" to bring them to this place and kill Nikos before he gets to kidnap G.O.D. thousands of years from now.

-"Ack'basha is a cleric."
"Clerics are holy men"
"My heart wants to say that, but at the same time all my experiences of Ack'basha are making it pretty hard."

-"Friend, I believe in G.O.D., so I don't trust my mind very often!"

-Zeke decides to ignore the others' advice, and confronts Nikos publicly, but Nikos doesn't really give a crap and the other NPCs don't believe him anyway.

-The PCs are pretty sure this whole party is doomed in their upcoming battle with Zzaszz, but they can't convince any of its members to turn back.  So finally, they give up and press the button to send them back to the Time Dinosaurs.  The Dinosaurs then send them forward in time again.

-This time the Comprehend Languages spell goes off, but only right at the end of the explanation of the mission, and the Dinosaurs teleport them before the Fishman wizard can demand the Dinosaur repeat himself.

-They end up on a fairly desolate small floating island; still sometime in their distant past, but further into the future than their last two trips. There's a single solitary factory-building on the island, so they head over there and ring the doorbell.

-Through the intercom: "Hello? Who's out there?"
"My name's Chu, you may know me? I'm pretty important!"
"..Yes! I DO know you!!"
Cue the entire party almost fainting with shock at the first time ever in the campaign that anyone actually did know Chu.

-It turns out to not be as impressive an accomplishment as Chu would have hoped, because the voice on the other side of the intercom is Fred the Science Elf, several hundred years older than the last time they saw him, a few minutes ago!

-Fred tells them about how in their fight with Zzaszz, Borquist betrayed them all in exchange for gaining Immortality from the Lords of Chaos, Arkaea the wizardess got fused to her snake (turning into the Snake Witch), Nikos just fucked off, and Blastr-0 was destroyed, though not before injuring Zzaszz enough that his forces' effort to conquer the whole northern continent was halted.  Fred has since retired from the surface world, and has lived out a quiet existence on this floating island, still hoping to make a difference in the world but no longer optimistic about his chances.

-Fred has converted part of the abandoned elven factory into a lab, and he reveals to the PCs that he managed to rescue the artificial-brain of the Pythian Living Mecha; he has hopes to use it to construct another super-robot, but notes that it was altered by chaos energies in the epic battle with Zzaszz. It no longer functions in the same logical structure as a normal robot brain should, and he's reluctant to finish his super-robot until he can figure out a way to return the brain to its normal parameters.

-Suddenly, there's an earthquake as the whole island shudders; the PCs have to make reflex saving throws, and the fishman is nearly killed by a falling object. Ironically, it's a common drill.

-"Fortunately, Zeke Bodean manages to just barely dodge out of the way of an industrial buzzsaw!"
"Son of a bitch!!"

-The floating island is falling out of the sky!  From the observatory, Fred determines that it's being pulled down by an ancient tractor beam from the surface,  being manned by a group of feral halfling raiders, who appear to have been pulling this stunt for some time now.
"More fucking halflings?"

-Ack'basha uses divine aid to pull down a divine bolt of lightning to disintegrate the entire tractor beam (having rolled a critical)!  However, the island has lost too much altitude at that point and is still falling. To make things worse, while the PCs were outside summoning up the divine wrath, a landslide destroys the factory complex, with Fred the Science-Elf still inside.

-The PCs try to find Fred, hoping he's still alive; the Fishman reluctantly realizes that just maybe, Zeke's skill as a 'scriptural archeologist' might come in handy.
"I can't believe I'm saying this... Zeke, I need your help."
"My friend, I've been waiting a long time to hear that! I'll be happy to help you in any way I can, because I love you like a brother."
"I despise you with every fiber of my being."

-The PCs see something similar to an escape pod abandoning the island, it seems to be moving too fast to be for a human occupant, and theorize that Fred might have been trying to save the Living Mecha's artificial brain.

-Zeke somehow manages to find Fred, but he's buried under rubble, and clearly dead. But they find a message he left on a recording device, where he explains that he did indeed jettison the brain, to save it from destruction or from falling into the wrong hands. And he explains that to protect it, he put it inside the body... of a simple bolt-tightening robot!

-"Oh for fuck's sake! I lost 1 point of Intelligence for this??!"
"You're not the only one who suffered. I had to give away 33 smithplium pieces!"

-They return to the Time Dinosaurs, who are transporting them back to their own time. But the Fishman just has to know: it's obvious the Time Dinosaurs did all this to be able to repair Bolt-0, but why do they give a fuck?
The Time Dinosaur leads them to a museum-like room on their ship, a monument to the founder or great leader of the Time Dinosaurs in the distant future: Bolt-0!

-With a half-dozen or so of the mysteries of the campaign resolved in one fell session, the Time Dinosaurs drop off the PCs in the present.. but not where they picked them up.  Instead, they find themselves in front of a Minotaur Underwear Factory.

-"After all this, they didn't even drop Bolt-0 off with us! They took off with him!"
"Well, maybe they need time to fix him?"
"I KNOW! I KNOW! Just don't fucking question it!"

That's it for this section.  Next time:  will the PCs finally get to the bottom of what's causing the killer Minotaur attacks? Stay tuned!


Currently Smoking: Mastro de Paja Bent Billiard + Image Virginia

Friday, 24 June 2016 Friday: Remember the Last Bunch of Guys that Made Britain Quit Europe?

So first, congratulations to the people of the United Kingdom, for recovering their freedom and sovereignty!

And now, some exciting news (after a few days' delay): I've just published my first article on

Look for me to do future articles on weird history of different kinds.  There'll be stuff on secret societies, occult grimoires, other esoteric stuff, and lots of funny or weird history.

But for today, slightly coincidentally to current events, we look back at the history of some other European Bureaucrats who behaved so god-awfully that they made Britain (and several other countries) quit their international organization.  The "god-awfully" was particularly ironic, because of course we're talking about the Popes of the Roman Catholic Church.

Here, then, is my list of 20 of the Worst Popes In History, and you won't believe some of the shit they pulled.  There's pope eye-gouger, pope Joffrey, pope gigolo, pope traitor!, pope vampire, and lots more!

Dedicated with love to the European Commission and John "Captain Smegma" Wright.


Currently Smoking: Lorenzetti Volcano + Peterson's Balkan Delight