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Saturday, 7 September 2019

100 Weird Gonzo Fantasy Features

This week, a simple product: a list of 100 random weird-fantasy or gonzo-fantasy encounters. They include weird creatures, place, items, events, and more!

100 Weird Gonzo Fantasy Features includes things like a magical well, juicy-looking berries that glow, ancient creepy-looking child's doll, porcupine-man looking for a hug, flying pyramids, druid rain-maker, culture seeking to destroy all eggs after a great salmonella outbreak, and even the fortress of the Cyborg Knitting-Circle.

Here's some examples:

 -A field of odd multicolored flowers; by day it is harmless, but at night they discharge pollen with unusual mutagenic qualities. Anyone who fails a DC12 Fortitude save will have one random ability score permanently reduce by 1d4, while another random ability score increases by 1d4. This effect happens once per night, and a person is vulnerable to the effect every night they spend there.

-A race of humanoids made out of glass. They are extremely fragile (1hp each), and are generally hysterical whenever they're near heartier humanoids as they are aware of the possibility of being shattered by the more brutish races. They're harmless, with a very peaceful contemplative culture. They have the ability to pick up radio and other communication transmissions.

-A bush full of juicy-looking glowing berries. 7/10 of these will have healing properties, curing 1d4 hp of damage if eaten. But 2/10 are moderately spoiled, causing whoever swallows them to get high (DC13, fortitude, to avoid becoming deliriously intoxicated for 1d6 hours), and 1/10 is outright poisonous (DC15, fortitude, to avoid dying of poisoning in 1d4 rounds).

-The Flaming Club is a sacred artifact to a isolated primitive tribe. In fact, they do not have the skill of fire-making themselves, and rely on the everburning flame of their magic club to make fire with. It is a +1 club that is also constantly on fire (doing an extra +1d4 fire damage if it hits, and potentially setting fire to things it contacts). If someone were to steal the club, not only would the entire tribe try to kill the thieves but they would also likely die out without fire-building skills.

-A number of floating pyramids (about 5' tall, float at 50' per round) with eyes on each side. They may be some kind of ancient magical construct, possibly meant to defend some sort of site or treasure, but that site or treasure might not exist anymore. They fire magical beams from their eyes (+5 to hit) that teleport anyone they hit to a random location 1d100 miles away. The pyramids have AC18 and are immune to all non-magical attacks. They have 42hp each.

...and 95 more!

They're keyed by number so that you can roll it up as random encounters, or pick and choose for material to expand into adventure scenarios.

You can pick up RPGPundit Presents #91: 100 Weird Gonzo-Fantasy Features from DTRPG, or from the Precis Intermedia Webstore!   Either way, it can be yours for just $2.99!

And while you're at it, be sure to pick up the rest of the great supplements in the RPGPundit Presents series:


RPGPundit Presents #1: DungeonChef!

RPGPundit Presents #2: The Goetia  (usable for Lion & Dragon!)

RPGPundit Presents #3: High-Tech Weapons


RPGPundit Presents #5: The Child-Eaters (an adventure scenario for Lion & Dragon!)









RPGPundit Presents #17: The Hunters (an adventure for Lion & Dragon!)




RPGPundit Presents #21: Hecate's Tomb (an adventure for Lion & Dragon!)































RPGPundit Presents #54: Medieval College Adventures (compatible with Lion & Dragon)




RPGPundit Presents #58: Expanded Prior History Tables  (compatible with Lion & Dragon!)






RPGPundit Presents #65: The Defilers (compatible with Lion & Dragon)



RPGPundit Presents #68: The Cult of the Saints (compatible with Lion & Dragon) 

RPGPundit Presents #69: The Path of Trees (compatible with Lion & Dragon)



RPGPundit Presents #72: The Cymri Davey (compatible with Lion & Dragon) 



















Stay tuned for more next week!



RPGPundit

Currently Smoking: Lorenzetti Poker + H&H's Walnut
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Thursday, 5 September 2019

DCC Campaign Update: We Really Have to Childproof This Place



As of the end of our last adventure, the PCs were flying back toward Minotauria, complete with a couple of new-hire NPCs, and a mafia enforcer and mafia I.T. guy, to bring a shipload of weapons and a communication dish to that primitive nation, where they  had just helped their buddy Minocles state a violent and bloody coup.

Now:

-"I'll cut you, bitch!"
"Aww, Specter is just like me!"

-"Chariss is like a cross between the blob-dude from The Orville and Honey Boo Boo's mom."

-"I don't just do any old drugs, darlin! I'm not some hippie or something.. I like my opiates.. and the weed, of course!"



-"OK guys, let's guess.. what's a giant goblin? Is it a human-sized goblin? Or a literally giant-sized goblin?"

-"Hey Chariss.. do you know Bob Loblaw the Law Blob?"
"Yes! That son of a bitch screwed up my dealing charge on FSA, and they repossessed my shack because of him! And that was after I gave him the blob version of a blow job!"
"You mean..."
"Yes, I gave Bob Loblaw the Law Blob a Blow Job."
"You gave Bob Loblaw the Law Blob a Blob Blow Job?"
"Exactly!"

-The ship has accidentally flown into a herd of Ki-Rin!
"You need to give me authorization, Cleric!"
"Hmm... computer, grant Catboy authorization ONLY for piloting!"
"Granted."
"Catboy maneuvers by swerving to the left."
"Natural 20!"



-"Now that we're past the danger... Computer: rescind pilot authorization from Catboy."
"RESCINDED"
"Good."
"QUERY: DO YOU WISH TO RESTORE AUTOPILOT OR CONTINUE IN FREEFALL?"
"What?! No, restore! Restore autopilot!!"

-Catboy is sick of the sky-nazi and decides to hack the computer for authorization.
"I restore my own authorization, remove the Cleric's and give everyone else authorization.. except Chariss."
"I'm not offended, darlin.. it was probably a wise decision."

-"Bill can you cast Mend to fix the damaged sensors?"
"Can I get to them?"
"Now, in flight?"
"Not a good idea!"
"why?"
"You get a natural 1, and everyone dies."

-The ship gets badly shaken up in a storm; the trans-mutant and the dwarf are in a coma.
"how?"
"They were both hit on the head with a bowling ball."
"Someone ought to put that bowling ball away."

-"Specter is too annoying. Heidi pushes him out of the open door of the ship."
"What? No! Fly after him!"

-"The Sky-cleric goes to the sign that said 'x days since our last accident' and sets it back to zero."
"It wasn't an accident. I pushed him off on purpose."
"Oh. Right, OK, I set it back."'



-After flying below the clouds, Heidi spots Specter, about to fall at terminal velocity into the ocean.
"I use my Mighty Deed to swoop in and catch him just before he hits the water."
"Roll."
"I made the deed but failed my piloting check."
"You save the bucket Specter was holding but he crashes into the water and splatters to pieces."

-"Fuck it. Ship, go down."
"Lightning strikes the ship and disables all systems."
"OK Bill, now it's REALLY time to cast Mend!"
"We're all going to die!"



-"The system is restored and the ship very suddenly brakes. Everyone do a Reflex save."
"Catboy got a natural 1."
"He gets hit on the head by a bowling ball and gets knocked out. Also, the trans-mutant landed on a pile of spare weapons in the corner."
"We really have to childproof this place!"

-Arriving on Minotauria, a feast is held in the party's honor. There they are entertained by Minotaur wrestlers.
"Heidi, you should join them!"
"Yes, it would be an honor if you were to strip off your armor, cover your naked body in oil, and wrestle with us!"
"No thanks."

-"Tonight you will rest in rooms of honored guests, and have any minotaur women you want!"
"Catboy will have a minotaur woman..."
"Come with me little one, we shall have snoo-snoo!"
"Oh noes!"



-The Catboy comes out of his room the next day, with a very large very satisfied minotaur woman.
"He did well because no one saw him."
"You have impressed me, Catboy. You are no longer a Catboy, now you are a Catman! I may also be pregnant with your child."
"Cool. What's your name?"
"Bovinia."
"Cool."



-"Heidi, after a night of heavy drinking, you wake up naked in the garden. For some reason, all your body hair has been shaved off."

-"Bill spent the night on the ship, playing Grand Theft Skyship with the Mafia-I.T. guy."
"I tell him I'm Bill the Elf."
"Wait.. so.. you're like.. a boygirl? And, like... you spoke to me and played a video game with me so that must mean that you're into me?"
"What? No!"
"But, really I wouldn't mind.. I mean.. I wouldn't care that you had a dick..."
"I don't!"
"You don't? Oh... well then never mind."

-"So Catboy may have impregnated Bovinia?"
"I can't even start to imagine what their babies will look like."

-"Catboy admits he wanted Bovinia just to make Anema jealous."
"And now you're marrying her?"

-The party proceeds the lands of the giant goblins, but along the way they are attacked by flying sky-wraiths who enter the ship.
"Heidi attacks but fumbles."
"He trips over the bowling ball."

-"Chariss absorbs the bowling ball into her body and then launches it to a wraith, but being non-magical it passes right through the wraith and lands right on the unconscious dwarf's groin."

-The Wraiths are defeated, but both Heidi and Chariss were affected by undead curses in the fight.
"I don't feel so good..."
"Go to the med-lab, Chariss."
"There's a med lab here??"
"Yes."
"With medicines?"
"yes."
"Alright! Now we're cooking with gas!!"

-"You're now flying over the goblin lands."
"Can we see the goblins?"
"Yes. They look pretty small from up here."
"Can we tell how large they are?"
"Well, they're next to some trees, but you can't really tell if the trees are normal or giant sized."
"So we still have no idea how big they are?"
"Nope."

-"How are you doing Chariss?"
"Oh I'm doing real well darlin..."
"Did you find something that helped?"
"I'm still cursed. But I absorbed all the drugs, so now I don't care!"

-The Goblins turn out to be ogre-sized, and hyper-aggressive. They fight the PCs like crazy, until the party gets the idea to transmit from the ship's loudspeakers, and tell the goblins they've been sent by the Gods. The goblins seem to believe that, but they're just as aggressive about their gods as anything else.
"We will kill you to show the gods our strength!"

-They convince the goblins to take them "to be sacrificed" in the underground temple chambers where the moss is.
"That will work. Once we're where the moss is, I'll cast cloudkill."
"You can't, though! It'll probably destroy the hallucinogenic moss, which is why we're here."
"Yeah, and I need that moss for my arthritis!"
"Chariss you don't have joints!"
"Oh.. I meant my glaucoma!"



-They get to the temple-room with the moss, and start to fight with the giant-goblin guards and priest.
"Catboy gets hit with a critical and breaks a rib!"
"Does that have some kind of penalty?"
"Just pain."
"That's alright, I'm always in constant pain."
"Yeah but now it's not just emotional."

-"Chariss completely ignores the fight, and starts sucking on the magic moss."
"It's funny how Chariss is useless, and in many ways similar to Priscilla, and yet somehow way more likeable."
"Yeah, it is funny."

-"The Pundit's planes are very loosely based on the Tree of Life from the Qabalah."
"VERY loosely. You will not get an education in the Qabalah from this game. In fact, it's teaching you wrong on purpose."



-The guards and priest being defeated, the party fills up two large garbage bags with moss, and send it up to G.O.D., or presumably to Roman.

-"How old are you, Chariss?"
"I'm 52 years young!"
"And how long do blob people live?"
"Usually until we overdose."

-"So she's biologically immortal?"
"You know what that means, don't you Bill? She's another creature immune to your Emirkol's Maelstrom spell!"
"Goddamn it."

And on that note, we leave the party. They've sent up the two garbage bags full of moss to Roman, and kept some for themselves. Now they just have to get out of the Giant-Goblin territories. Or explore them, whichever they decide. Stay tuned for our next session to find out which!


RPGPundit

Currently Smoking: Lorenzetti Solitario Egg + Gawith's Navy Flake
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Tuesday, 3 September 2019

Medieval-Authentic Secret Societies!

In my latest issue of RPGPundit Presents #90: Medieval-Authentic Secret Societies, I present you with a group of secret organizations that kind-of existed.

That is, every group in this sourcebook is based on real medieval groups and movements, but starting from a real base I set up possible groups that didn't to my knowledge really exist in the middle ages or early renaissance, but totally could have.

For starters, you get details on Craft Guild Fraternities. Those were totally real.



Next, you get:

-The Courts of Doom: a secret order of frontier peasant vigilantes (based on real groups that existed in medieval Germany)

-The Joyous Society: an order or fraternity of Yuletide Dancers with a dangerous secret (inspired by actual Carnaval fraternities in medieval Italy).

-The Watchful Eye, a secret group that brutally enforce the guild laws of a particular trade (inspired by the real-life conflicts between doctors, surgeons and apothecaries in medieval England)

-The Thirsty Fellowes, a secret fraternity of laborers (based on historic aid societies)


In all five cases, you get a lot of detail on the group's history, structure, rituals, and benefits, plus lots of adventure ideas built in.


This book is a system-neutral book you can use for any OSR, D&D or Fantasy/Historical RPG setting where you want to add a bit of medieval authenticity.  You can pick up RPGPundit Presents #90: Medieval-Authentic Secret Societies from DTRPG, or from the Precis Intermedia Webstore for $2.99 either way!


And while you're at it, be sure to pick up the rest of the great supplements in the RPGPundit Presents series:


RPGPundit Presents #1: DungeonChef!

RPGPundit Presents #2: The Goetia  (usable for Lion & Dragon!)

RPGPundit Presents #3: High-Tech Weapons


RPGPundit Presents #5: The Child-Eaters (an adventure scenario for Lion & Dragon!)









RPGPundit Presents #17: The Hunters (an adventure for Lion & Dragon!)




RPGPundit Presents #21: Hecate's Tomb (an adventure for Lion & Dragon!)































RPGPundit Presents #54: Medieval College Adventures (compatible with Lion & Dragon)




RPGPundit Presents #58: Expanded Prior History Tables  (compatible with Lion & Dragon!)






RPGPundit Presents #65: The Defilers (compatible with Lion & Dragon)



RPGPundit Presents #68: The Cult of the Saints (compatible with Lion & Dragon) 

RPGPundit Presents #69: The Path of Trees (compatible with Lion & Dragon)



RPGPundit Presents #72: The Cymri Davey (compatible with Lion & Dragon) 


















Stay tuned for more next week!



RPGPundit

Currently Smoking: Lorenzetti Poker + H&H's Walnut
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Sunday, 1 September 2019

LIVESTREAM: Demi Human Stat Bonuses are Racist??

Tonight at 9pm Eastern Standard Time, I do a Livestream, where I will give the best reason why D&D demihuman stat bonuses are not racist, and the best reason why they ARE racist! Plus, Space Opera OSR and much more!


RPGPundit

Currently Smoking: Raleigh Hawbill + Image Virginia
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