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Sunday, 7 September 2014

DCC Campaign Update

Today, the PCs were forced to confront:

-the inter-dimensional unfathomable terror of having your drug dealer, who happens to be a Shoggoth with a fondness for reggae, send out a distress message in your fever-dreams revealing he's been kidnapped.

-the bizarre consequences of having your very being touched by a thing man was Not Meant to Know, much less get weed from.

-The realization that the first stage of shoggoth-touched madness is having your farts shoot acid.

-The news that Bob Shoggoth has apparently been kidnapped by a long-vanished order of elven ultra-tech knights.

-The curious fact that humans who smoke Shoggoth-weed will become mutants; while elves who smoke Shoggoth-weed suffer from a much weirder fate.

-The urgency of the need to go rescue him, once a tentacle-eyestalk that is not your own begins to emerge from your ass.

-the further greed-motivation that emerges on learning that Bob Shoggoth knows the hidden location of a mint-condition GCM-L Pythian Power Armor complete with Jet Pack and Butt-Rocket accessories.

-The return of the Smug Elves of the Silver Dome, mistakenly attacking the PCs while looking for the Pythian Knights.

-The increasing seriousness of the situation when the tentacle-eyestalk thing in your posterior grows a mouth and starts to sing Tiny Tim songs... and later vomits vanilla ice-cream.

-(the troubling OOC RL development that the mention of 'ice-cream' leads all the players to want to go get some ice cream, in spite of the in-game ice cream coming out of a tentacle-thing lodged in the elf PC's ass).

-The unchanging crapulence of the everyone-hating Purple Mutants of Cordallen.

-The tragic destruction-by-fire of the tentacle-eyestalk tiny-tim-singing ice-cream-spewing mythos-butt-monster, just when the elf was starting to like having it around.

-The somber realization that said destruction was probably for the best, as the tentacle-thing kept getting bigger and more elaborate, and that whole situation was heading towards nowhere good.

-The entry into the humanoid Badlands, en route to Yeti Country.

-The long-awaited thrilling encounter with the Pythian Knight kidnappers of Bob Shoggoth.

-The strong suspicion, upon noticing the presence of fake-elf-ears and patchwork-armors, that the kidnappers are not so much "Pythian Knights" as they are a "Pythian Knight Cosplayer Society".

-The confirmation of said suspicion when they spot that one cosplayer found in every group of cosplayers who REALLY isn't even trying; in this case, having just put a box over his torso with the word "pythian" written on it, and not even written in Elvish.

-The dark decision to kill most of them anyways, except for 'box guy' and "guy armed with a stick he's pretending is a wand of lightning bolt".

-The inevitable inter-player fight over who gets to loot the least-shitty of the pythian armors.

-The rescue of Bob Shoggoth, and unanimous decision to carry on in search of the Pythian Power Armor.


Currently Smoking: Lorenzetti Freehand + Rattray's Marlin Flake


  1. Strange. I googled the names you listed as "Currently Smoking" and found nothing of, let's say, dubious legality.
    Where does all that weirdness come from, then?!

  2. Well, I spent most of the 90s high, doing magick, and then the turn of the millennium as a Tantric monk. It's not so much that I "don't do drugs" now as that I've transcended any need to actually consume them.

  3. "Bob Shoggoth" is such an awesome name for a NPC.

  4. "The urgency of the need to go rescue him, once a tentacle-eyestalk that is not your own begins to emerge from your ass"

    That's one way to get the PC's to take your adventure hook...