This week's adventure began with the PCs following the escaped Night Goats into the Badlands and Yeti Country.
They were being accompanied by their old friend Bolt-O the bolt-tightening conversation-loving robot (who they'd recently learned was talented in the lore of necromancy). Incidentally, it had been almost exactly one real-world year since the last session they'd seen Bolt-O, which tells you a bit about just how long-running and detailed this campaign is.
Anyways, here are some more crazy things overheard this session:
-"BOLT-O HAS NEVER READ GEORGE RR MARTIN"
-"so wait, it takes Bolt-O a half hour of loudly issued commands to enter 'silent mode' but getting out of 'silent mode' takes two seconds?" Well, he is a conversation robot...
-"Bolt-0 has a personality; that means that he's doing most of this shit out of choice. He could in fact help being a dick."
-"Oh shit, not vicious flesh-ripping Giant Weasels AGAIN!"
-"BOLT-O'S SENSORS INDICATE DWARF WIZARD IS ALIVE. SHOULD BOLT-O EXTERMINATE?"
-"G.O.D. must have something against this elephant"
-"Giant weasels are the Badland's deadliest predator!"
-"It's hard to spot the Night Goats' trail of destruction in the Badlands, what with everything here being fucked up already"
-"we may be on the trail of the Goats... I can see fire, and shit."
-"GUARD MODE ACTIVATED, NO DANGER DETECTED" "Wait, is Guard Mode the same as Patrol mode?" "YES, BOLT-O IS CAPABLE OF USING SYNONYMS"
-"when we're ready to attack, we'll signal you with the cry of the giant weasel: Ka-Kaw!"
-"I like how Ack'Basha has managed to turn Holy Sanctuary into a Complete Asshole spell"
-"only the Untouchable could survive a spear blow right through the head"
-"Enlarge is the one spell every dwarf wizard wants"
-"You can't solve everything by faking a heart attack"
-"Giant Weasels are the Meth Addicts of the animal world"
-"You have lost control of the giant weasel" (not something you want to hear)
-"Ack'basha, I've made a huge mistake. Run away!"
-"Yes, you are still armed, both in the sense of still having your spear and still having your arm, somehow"
-"G.O.D. is a bureaucrat"
-"G.O.D. is not a bureaucrat, he's a maniac"
-"He used Divine Aid to cause Religious Genocide" "Wouldn't be the first time"
-"You all hear a mysterious silence" "It's not really mysterious, it's because Ack'Basha gassed all the goblins to death"
-"I note that at this point the cleric has gotten pretty good at appraising gems"
-"BOLT-O WAS NOT AWARE THAT HE IS A FUCKING DICK"
-"BOLT-O ATTEMPTED TO WARN YOU OF THE DRAGON'S PRESENCE BUT HE WAS STILL IN SIGN LANGUAGE MODE AS PER YOUR REQUEST"
-Bolt-O also has a 'jest mode' which he rarely uses.
-"Ack'basha is definitely turning into the new Bill the Elf. Casual genocide is one of the signs".
-"BOLT-O DOES NOT HAVE A DECEIT MODE... OR DOES HE?"
-"Call me the Untouchable Dragon Slayer!"
-"BOLT-O COULD ATTEMPT TO SUMMON THE LORD OF DEATH AGAIN, BUT IT WOULD MOST LIKELY RESULT IN MORE GOATS"
-"I wanted to change the details of the deal" "How surprising of you, Ack'basha"
-"We can track the Night Goats by the burn trail they leave behind" "Do they fart fire or something?"
-"We need to sneak up to the Yeti encampment" "Oh yeah, because the Elephant with the cowbell makes us particularly sneaky..."
-"The Yeti are coming! Cheese it!"
The party got away from the Yeti only to be surprise-attacked later. They managed to beat them off, and after banishing the last of the Night Goats back from whence they came, they were about to head home, only to find that in the cave of the Dragon (which the Untouchable slew with a single backstab attack!) Bolt-O has discovered a long-abandoned functioning Ancient Transmat Device, which apparently leads to a place called "Living Unit 32". Obviously, the PCs decide they're going to go check it out.
RPGPundit
Currently Smoking: Lorenzetti Quiete + Dunhill 965
No comments:
Post a Comment