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Saturday, 22 October 2016

DCC Backstage: The Backstagening pt. 5.0



Ready for some more inane chatter from my DCC group?  Lately, the campaign has been so good, and the conversation about it between sessions so non-stop, that I can't really keep up.  Here's a slightly edited version of the last while.


Chu/Shebubu: I don't remember Bill finally accepting his trans-racialness but I am OK with it.

Morris: 


Bill: By now Bill does not give a fuck about his looks, unless he gets to be an elf again.  And even then, bill will probably not give a fuck. Right now Bill just wants his staff and to know who the fuck is the wizard guy in the nether zone and bring him back. And that's just grazing the idea that bill ever gave a fuck about anything after ted's death.

Chu/Shebubu: Well, he did have a gigantic hate boner for, Sandy, Dr Theobald and Akbasha.

Morris: And destroying Tholia, don't forget that.

Chu/Shebubu: Nah, Bill just goes to places and fucks them up, He just left Tholia in the backburner.

Morris: But that's a problem, because if we kill that 1000th minotaur, that weird wizard will be immortal.

Bill: Hate and giving a fuck is different.

Morris: And that's immoral... because *?

Chu/Shebubu: Eh, it doesn't really matter if he is or isn't immortal.

Bill: Immortal and unkillable is very different.

Morris: I don't want to accomplish his fucking dream

Chu/Shebubu: I mean if we really cared about people with immortality we would go and try to stop the Snake King in the southern continent so he would stop cutting the heads of kings.

Morris: What the actual fuck?

Bill: That's still a thing?

Morris: THAT'S A THING?

Bill: We could totally do that after Coolland.

Chu/Shebubu: Who knows, it has been like 2 months since the last information we got from him, but sadly, I don't think anyone that knew about him is alive.

Bill: We could go places and be like a pacifying force.

Morris: Meh, I can wait, killing spontaneous minotaurs is fun.
Pacif-what?

Bill: Especially when not being the minotaur's main target.

Morris: I mean, if we stop these minotaurs.. I'll miss them.

Chu/Shebubu: Yeah, I think we should leave the minotaurs for now until we solve the Bill staff thing, which would send us to that convocation where we will probably fuck everything up again.

Morris: I'm sure

Chu/Shebubu: I actually forgot about asking Palombo.

Morris: Yay fucking everything up is fun!

Drunken Master/Axe-Bard: fucking everything up is not what we want, but it's what we do.

Chu/Shebubu: Yep, byproduct of our adventures.

Morris: Hey, yes I want

Bill: Collateral Damage. You don't make an omelette without breaking eggs. 

Morris: Unless your eggs are already broken. I only have on testicle left thanks to the minotaurs.

Chu/Shebubu: They haven't really hit you at all.

Morris: Not after meeting you.

Bill: Well, smart-pants guerrilla. You don't make an omelette without scrambling them eggs!

Morris: You are my meat shields. I mean, best friends!

Bill: Someone wants the warrior to take his remaining testicle...

Morris: That's... that's fair enough.

Bill: That might turn down your sex drive a bit and make you less creepy. And would add a safety against halfling attacks.  We would have a eunuch in the party, which we never had so far.  Yeah fuck it, let's castrate the thief.

Chu/Shebubu: More diversity in the party is better. :D

Bill: If you become only a small percentage as smart as Varis, Tholia has no chance! I'm sure we can crowd fund your complete castration, imagine all the likes you would get back at the capital of cooland.

Morris:




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