Pundit:
Well, once again almost everyone died. But now there's a
Bazooka-guy.
Sunrise, Sunset.
Morris:
HAHAHA
AND NOW THERE IS NO MORRIS TO BLAME!
Bill:
It's still your fault.
Muu:
Yeah, not being here is kinda your fault : o
Morris:
Can you tell me what happened?
Pundit:
Sabre-toothed Giant Weasels.
Bazooka
Arnok: The deadliest predator of the Shithole.
At least until Bazooka Arnok appeared.
Heidi:
now that Bazooka Arnok appeared, once the weasels kill him we will
have Bazooka Weasels
since he is green and has tusk, I guess
the sadistic hunter would be something like this:
And Morris is now a sinless baby
compared to the new guys
Pundit: This party became a gang of
insane psychopaths so gradually that it seemed totally natural.But
the latest jump is jarring. It's like a group of mobsters, getting
into bigger crimes, making themselves more imposing bit by bit,
taking over the underworld...and then the Joker shows up.
Bill: It gets so bad that Bill becomes
the voice of reason
But then says he will have to up his
game to keep up with these new guys
Muu: The real question is will Bill be
able to make the shithole worse, or the shithole characters will make
it worse all by themselves.
Or will it be the otherway making Bill
someone worse.
Bill: All can be at the same time, add
hemorrhoids to the shithole, make it a worse place, make bill worse
and make the new guys horrible
The shithole is a place of
opportunities
Muu: You don't get to the shithole, the
shithole gets to you.
Bazooka Arnok: Remember when we were
the good guys?
Yeah, me neither.
But I'm pretty sure every time we die,
we come back worse.
Muu: We come back worse or incompetent
Bill: That would explain bill
Bazooka Arnok: Nothing would explain
Bill.
Bill defies explanation.
Bill: Bill is on a spirit walk through
the shithole, being an asshole, travelling to the sphincter
Bazooka Arnok: A walkabout.
Basically you want to find yourself,
and what better place than the Shithole for it?
Bill: That
Like the old guy in Lost
Pundit:
Muu: One mistake on the DCC recap, It
was Heidi who is a pacifist who wanted to escape the party.
Pundit: Heidi is the pacifist?? So
wait, who's the barbarian?
the red mutant
And was it heidi and not the halfling
who used the teleporter? Or did they both?
Muu: I only remember that Heidi was the
one with the red wizard, I do think that both of them used it too.
Heidi: both used the teleporter
the hunter is the only one who stayed
out
I don't remember the name of the
hunter
Pundit: Ah, OK. I'll try to edit it.
It would have been way more funny if
the sadistic hunter guy was named "heidi".
So, is everyone missing DCC already?
Heidi: It doesnt matter if we miss it
or not. There is no escape
Bill: We all are.
Bazooka Arnok: D..CC? What is that?
I have...memories...
Suppressed ones...
No...NO NO!
EVERYTHING IS COMING BACK!
THE HORROR! THE HORROR!
Pundit: Hope you're having a good time
over in Europe with all the Euro-trash!
Bill: So far so good.
Pundit: Oh man!
Bill: Akbasha must have poisoned those
dished, I feel like death is slowly taking hold of my guts
Pundit: dubious shellfish! sounds more
like the sort of thing Jal'udin would do.
Bazooka Arnok:
Be careful. That's how Chu died.
By eating some bad fish.
Muu: Bullshit demon poison, never eat
demon fish.
Pundit: You better be careful, Bill.
Did you hear about that Italian chef who died??
He pasta way.
Muu: I believe that you need to be a
father to tell terrible dad jokes.
Bill: I
guess I have good fortitude, I'm back at full HP
Pundit:
Good! We need you in good health if you're to come join us
this Sunday.
Bazooka Arnok: Bill can't handle his
way out of a wet paper bag without murdering the bag's family.
Bill:
So
I don't see what that has to do with
knowing and going bananas
Look a Nikos, he is just fine
Bazooka
Arnok: Bill and Handling Things are antonyms.
Last time Bill tried to handle
something, everything and everyone went to shit.
LITERALLY.
WE'RE IN THE FUCKING SHITHOLE BECAUSE
OF BILL!
Bill:
Bill just need to buy a handle and put it on or in things
Well, your previous dead PC were, the
new ones are natives
So technically not Bill's fault
Bazooka Arnok:
I can't wait to
see how that fails in the most spectacular and destructive fashion
possible.
Bill:
Morris can never blame anyone, he likes it here
We are in the SH, things can only get
worse if I mess up a control fire
Bazooka
Arnok: There's a whole body of laws forbidding the things
Morris likes.
Which you will. Soon
Bill: Add a creature of the void to the
shithole and it's like a crapper with additional hemorroids
It's only a question of when, not if
Bazooka Arnok: Thank you for the lovely
mental image.
Bill: Muajajajaja
Anytime
Heidi: Plot twist. Time dinosaura took
bill back to before the dark ones attacked. He tried to cast control
fire for something and opened a portal that allowed the dark ones
into this world.
Bill: DUN DUN DUN!! Mark
shamilalamamamalalalalan plot
Heidi: Bill is the beginning of the end
Bazooka Arnok: I personally blame
Ackbasha.
Muu: I blame Chu. Only because.
Bazooka Arnok: Nah. Chu wasn't that
relevant.
Bill: Bill is a paradox?
Bazooka Arnok: Depends.
Are paradoxes assholes?
If so, then yes
Pundit: Is this the Equestrian?
Heidi: yesterday in my job I received a
call and after introducing myself the girl on the other side said:
"Hello, may I speak to Morris?"
Morris: HAHAHAHAHHA
It's one of my fans...
Heidi: and normally I would think "I
don't know who the fuck morris is, there are thousands of people
working here", but since she said Morris and not other name I
thought "Why would someone want to speak to Morris?"
Morris: HAHAHAHA That's a valid
question
Bill: You see, it's permeating into
this realm
Bazooka Arnok: Does that mean that
anytime now minotaurs will start appearing?
Because considering the price of beef,
I'd be really ok with that happening.
Heidi: we are out of the spell range,
they have to teleport all the way from Minotauria
Bazooka Arnok: We're in the shithole
then
Bill: If we were in Venezuela, that would apply.
***
That's it for now, stay tuned for the long-awaited new DCC Campaign Update very soon!
RPGPundit
Currently Smoking: Missouri Meerschaum + Stockebbye's Bull's Eye Flake
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