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Tuesday 5 August 2014

DCC Campaign Update: Now With More Eye-Tyrants!

In this week's very special episode, the gang learned some important lessons:

-Large manufacturing robots who can't modulate the volume of their voice make very lousy "disguised" trees.

-There are times when you should just quit while the quitting is good; and when you've rescued your captured wizard and have dozens and dozens of Beach Giants hunting for you, that's one of those times.

-Anthraz the Destroyer did not die of old age while the PC party was away, but it really could have gone either way.

-Before you get to go on a trans-dimensional adventure with Anthraz the Destroyer, you have to repair his fence.  In exchange, you will get a shiny gold piece and a rambling grandpa-lecture about thrift.

-Pretty well all portals to the 9th dimensional "Grey Realms" are really odd, but entering the side of a cow to cross over takes it to a whole new level.

-You never know when, while in the 9th dimension, a serious knowledge of "Glee" trivia might come in handy.

-Queen Priscilla of the Grey Realms tries to act like a high-school teenie-bopper (inasmuch as a huge grey blob-creature can do so), but she's been on the throne for at least 35 years.

-If Queen Priscilla had a massive crush on your dead twin brother, that may open some doors.

-On the other hand, if she's really more interested in everyone feeling sorry for (and paying attention to) her for having a "dead boyfriend", suggesting that you might be able to bring him back to life is not going to get you far.

-It shouldn't surprise anyone that Queen Priscilla doesn't feel she has to actually embrace any active religious devotion to G.O.D., or strive to become a better person in general, because she already "feels" she's "like totally really spiritual".

-You can try to reason with 9th-dimensional grey blob people at a Bereavement Prom as long as you like, but the second the tricentenarian warrior in power armor blows DJ Jazzy Blob straight to hell, conversation time is over.

-If you put two really really old semi-retired adventurers together, the sexism and the complaining-about-kids-today levels are likely to get pretty high.

-Why would the world's most powerful cleric, and therefore greatest healer, be nearly deaf?  Stubborn refusal to acknowledge reality.

-Arkhome was no jewel of a city when the PCs actually lived there, but after they left it really went to shit.

-is it advisable to leave the rest of your party to go look for your old stuff and your former dealer, when there's an army of thousands of Eco-Ogres and Eye Tyrants about to destroy the city?  Probably not, but it is hilarious.

-Wizard + Eye Tyrant + Spell Duel + Phlogiston Disturbance = Awesome.

-Sometimes you get an Amulet of Extra Life just in time.

-Rings of Invisibility are awesome, but Rings of Invisibility that mean you're being constantly stared at (and heckled by) the ZZasZZ, the Dark Lord of the North, can get annoying really fast.

-In the middle of an apocalyptic Eye Tyrant invasion, the safest place in town to be is Bob Shoggoth's Head Shop.

-If you serve a demon who rebelled against G.O.D., casting Invoke Patron within a sacred altar space of G.O.D. isn't a good idea for anyone.

-For the greatest Cleric who ever lived, using the Wrath of G.O.D. to blast thousands of Eye Tyrants straight to hell is no problem; it's avoiding being backstabbed right through the throat by a Halconlord Assassin that's difficult.

-Duke Halcon's second-in-command, "The Thrush", is a top-notch assassin, but even he can take only so many magic missiles.

-An Eye Tyrant shunted into another plane by a phlogiston disturbance is not a problem you can just forget about indefinitely.

-For the greatest Cleric who ever lived, surviving being stabbed through the throat by the Thrush is no problem; it's avoiding being disintegrated by an Eye Tyrant beam that's difficult.

-G.O.D.'s ways are beyond mortal ken; but at the end of the day, in this kind of world, if you've managed to stop ONE (of countless) world-threatening evils, you have to call it a job well done.


Currently Smoking: Masonic Meerschaum + Image Perique

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