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Monday 6 October 2014

Uncracked Monday: how to become part of the Intellectual Elite of rpgnet in one easy step

Today, if you've ever looked over at the self-absorbed self-styled (pseudo-)intellectual elite fashionistas of rpgnet and asked yourself how they managed to write such endless streams of meaningless drivel they can feel so smug about, we may now have found out the secret.

I give you the jargon generator!

With the simple push of a button you can write such profound examinations of meaningful rpg subject matter like:

"The popularity of DitV: a symptom of any of this? Somebody? Somebody? Maybe I ought to take this elsewhere. I mean, we're talking about improving on perfection!"


"Well, a point of your choosing if anyone can answer one simple question. Is social contract underappreciated around here? Why hasn't anyone noticed this before?"


"I'm all for negotiation mechanics, why aren't the makers of Polaris? The answer is no. The prevalent use of pawn stance in Mage leads to chronic prole behaviour which is flawed. Or so you'd think. Don't tell me I'm the only one who's even HEARD of abused player syndrome? I know what I'm talking about here."

I think it might be a little too good.  Someone could use this to become an instant star. The only thing missing (and I suspect this generator is a bit old on account of this notable absence) is all the "Pseudo-activism". If the generator incorporated stuff about Privilege and how things are Problematic ("Problematic": a term for something a smug asshole feels should be condemned as a problem on principle, whether or not it actually is in reality. Used exclusively in reference to things people said asshole already didn't like have done or said, and should be forced to change or stop doing, as it is a given that said asshole and people said asshole likes are naturally inoculated against being problematic by their 'awareness'), it would be absolutely perfect.


Currently Smoking: Mastro de Paja Bent Apple + Peterson's Old Dublin


  1. That is hilariously spot-on. That crap is why I stopped reading/posting there.

  2. I've never spent any time on but now I feel that I have. Thank you for making me laugh out loud in my office.