The new and improved defender of RPGs!

Saturday 21 January 2017

DCC Campaign Backstage Chatlog: Volume 25, part 3

Pundit: Well, once again almost everyone died. But now there's a Bazooka-guy.
Sunrise, Sunset.

Morris: HAHAHA

Bill: It's still your fault.

Muu: Yeah, not being here is kinda your fault : o

Morris: Can you tell me what happened?

Pundit: Sabre-toothed Giant Weasels.

Bazooka Arnok: The deadliest predator of the Shithole.
At least until Bazooka Arnok appeared.

Heidi: now that Bazooka Arnok appeared, once the weasels kill him we will have Bazooka Weasels
since he is green and has tusk, I guess the sadistic hunter would be something like this:

And Morris is now a sinless baby compared to the new guys

Pundit: This party became a gang of insane psychopaths so gradually that it seemed totally natural.But the latest jump is jarring. It's like a group of mobsters, getting into bigger crimes, making themselves more imposing bit by bit, taking over the underworld...and then the Joker shows up.

Bill: It gets so bad that Bill becomes the voice of reason
But then says he will have to up his game to keep up with these new guys

Muu: The real question is will Bill be able to make the shithole worse, or the shithole characters will make it worse all by themselves.
Or will it be the otherway making Bill someone worse.

Bill: All can be at the same time, add hemorrhoids to the shithole, make it a worse place, make bill worse and make the new guys horrible
The shithole is a place of opportunities

Muu: You don't get to the shithole, the shithole gets to you.

Bazooka Arnok: Remember when we were the good guys?
Yeah, me neither.
But I'm pretty sure every time we die, we come back worse.

Muu: We come back worse or incompetent

Bill: That would explain bill

Bazooka Arnok: Nothing would explain Bill.
Bill defies explanation.

Bill: Bill is on a spirit walk through the shithole, being an asshole, travelling to the sphincter

Bazooka Arnok: A walkabout.
Basically you want to find yourself, and what better place than the Shithole for it?

Bill: That

Muu: One mistake on the DCC recap, It was Heidi who is a pacifist who wanted to escape the party.

Pundit: Heidi is the pacifist?? So wait, who's the barbarian?
the red mutant
And was it heidi and not the halfling who used the teleporter? Or did they both?

Muu: I only remember that Heidi was the one with the red wizard, I do think that both of them used it too.

Heidi: both used the teleporter
the hunter is the only one who stayed out
I don't remember the name of the hunter

Pundit: Ah, OK. I'll try to edit it.
It would have been way more funny if the sadistic hunter guy was named "heidi".
So, is everyone missing DCC already?

Heidi: It doesnt matter if we miss it or not. There is no escape

Bill: We all are.

Bazooka Arnok: D..CC? What is that?
I have...memories...
Suppressed ones...
No...NO NO!

Pundit: Hope you're having a good time over in Europe with all the Euro-trash!

Bill: So far so good.

Pundit: Oh man!

Bill: Akbasha must have poisoned those dished, I feel like death is slowly taking hold of my guts

Pundit: dubious shellfish! sounds more like the sort of thing Jal'udin would do.

Bazooka Arnok:
Be careful. That's how Chu died.
By eating some bad fish.

Muu: Bullshit demon poison, never eat demon fish.

Pundit: You better be careful, Bill. Did you hear about that Italian chef who died??
He pasta way.

Muu: I believe that you need to be a father to tell terrible dad jokes.

Bill: I guess I have good fortitude, I'm back at full HP

Pundit: Good! We need you in good health if you're to come join us this Sunday.

Bazooka Arnok: Bill can't handle his way out of a wet paper bag without murdering the bag's family.

I don't see what that has to do with knowing and going bananas
Look a Nikos, he is just fine

Bazooka Arnok: Bill and Handling Things are antonyms.
Last time Bill tried to handle something, everything and everyone went to shit.

Bill: Bill just need to buy a handle and put it on or in things
Well, your previous dead PC were, the new ones are natives
So technically not Bill's fault

Bazooka Arnok:
I can't wait to see how that fails in the most spectacular and destructive fashion possible.

Bill: Morris can never blame anyone, he likes it here
We are in the SH, things can only get worse if I mess up a control fire

Bazooka Arnok: There's a whole body of laws forbidding the things Morris likes.
Which you will. Soon

Bill: Add a creature of the void to the shithole and it's like a crapper with additional hemorroids
It's only a question of when, not if

Bazooka Arnok: Thank you for the lovely mental image.

Bill: Muajajajaja

Heidi: Plot twist. Time dinosaura took bill back to before the dark ones attacked. He tried to cast control fire for something and opened a portal that allowed the dark ones into this world.

Bill: DUN DUN DUN!! Mark shamilalamamamalalalalan plot

Heidi: Bill is the beginning of the end

Bazooka Arnok: I personally blame Ackbasha.

Muu: I blame Chu. Only because.

Bazooka Arnok: Nah. Chu wasn't that relevant.

Bill: Bill is a paradox?

Bazooka Arnok: Depends.
Are paradoxes assholes?
If so, then yes

Pundit: Is this the Equestrian?

Heidi: yesterday in my job I received a call and after introducing myself the girl on the other side said: "Hello, may I speak to Morris?"

It's one of my fans...

Heidi: and normally I would think "I don't know who the fuck morris is, there are thousands of people working here", but since she said Morris and not other name I thought "Why would someone want to speak to Morris?"

Morris: HAHAHAHA That's a valid question

Bill: You see, it's permeating into this realm

Bazooka Arnok: Does that mean that anytime now minotaurs will start appearing?
Because considering the price of beef, I'd be really ok with that happening.

Heidi: we are out of the spell range, they have to teleport all the way from Minotauria

Bazooka Arnok: We're in the shithole then

Bill: If we were in Venezuela, that would apply.


That's it for now, stay tuned for the long-awaited new DCC Campaign Update very soon! 


Currently Smoking: Missouri Meerschaum + Stockebbye's Bull's Eye Flake

No comments:

Post a Comment