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Tuesday 25 February 2014

DCC Campaign Update

DCC Campaign Update

In this weekend's DCC campaign adventure, it was shockingly confirmed that:

-The assassin's guild are definitely not a community college.
-The assassin's guild are, however, the proprietors of the worst-kept "secret" hideout in all of Archome
-The assassin's guild are also mediocre-quality leather-workers.

-The Dwarves definitely know how to hold a grudge.  They also know how to air grievances, file complaints, list lamentations, and take two or three days to answer simple questions.
-The Dwarves are also absolute masters of defensive fighting, which might explain why they lost their ancient homelands.

-The Snake Witch does not like having her rumpy-bumpy interrupted with requests for snack breaks.
-The Snake Witch is also an advocate for slow and very painful capital punishment.

-Trying to Charm one of the Snake Witch's public employees is a very dangerous idea, but may just get you somewhere.

-The Desert Nomad's Camel-Milk Wine is very potent stuff; and may have you waking up next to two burly nomads, a midget, a dancing bear, three whirling dervishes, a tapestry-illustrator, and a particular smarmy alcoholic Chaos Lord.

-Putting Nitroglycerine in a flask does nothing to improve its carrying safety.

-The Desert of Destruction is not nearly as dangerous as it sounds.
-The Plain of Glass is also not nearly as dangerous as it sounds.
-The Valley of Garbage is much, much more dangerous than it sounds.

-There are good slimes and bad slimes, and ways to differentiate between the two.
-Mutagentic Goo Slime and Bleach do not mix.

-It is strategically unwise to attack your opponents from the higher ground of a hill of soiled diapers.

-Large diaper-related explosions only attract more Bugbears.

-Bugbears in the world of the Last Sun are literally crosses between bugs and bears.

-Low-intellect Chaos Swords mostly just keep trying to get you to steal stuff.

-Blasters do nothing against Gelatinous Cube Slimes; Phasers, on the other hand, are fairly effective. Magic Missiles still work best.

-The Crystal of the Tyrant did not actually belong to the Tyrant; it was meant to keep the Tyrant imprisoned.

-Dwarves built their machines big, and built them to last. Their warning messages, not so much.

-When surrounded by hundreds of Eye Tyrants and their King, the only chance you really have is to make them laugh.

-Never trust an Elf in desperate search of a potion of Intelligence.

-An ancient Dwarven Particle Beam Cannon can slice a dragon in two.

-The Snake Witch rarely forgives, and she never forgets; so you had better.

Finally, in 2014, 10-year-old boys are surprisingly nonchalant about a magic missile spell turning them into a girl every time they cast it, as long as it does a lot of damage.


Currently Smoking: Neerup Egg + Rattray's Accountant's Mix


  1. That in retrospective one could have asked more for the Crystal.

    That by not exploring the whole Dungeon of the Tyrant, the party might have missed good loot.

    That mimics might look like chests :)

    That having your mind erased might be a good way to get out of trouble, unless your party tells on you, and happen to apparently know about your primate deals with your patron.

    That elf foresters seem to blip out of danger.

    BSing dangerous foes might actually work.

    That Swinging seems to be normal practice in Arkhom.

    That there are certain places were Patrons cannot get.

    That we might have doomed this area of the world to be taken by the Tyrants.

    That maybe do to external foe, the Snake Witch might now have an advantage over the Assassin's King.

    That the Snake Witch does not get desert Sand-Witch pawns.

  2. That Dum Aloo and Bean Goulash actually mix very well.

    That Vietnamese Phin filterred coffee has a set procedure, or "ritual" as The Pundit says :P

  3. That the Curiosity Shop keeps on getting more and more curious and strange.

    That the Curiosity Shop's Ibis looking owner is a wacko.

    That keeping your party in the dark about the real purpose of visiting the Tyrant's dungeon, did save them from the Snake Witch.

    That I just thought I might actually convince the Snake Witch that Nicodemus the Mad is the key to save Arkhom from the Tyrants.

  4. Thanks for filling in some of the gaps there!

  5. You can't remember everything, Pundit.

    For that there are the ones like me that pay attention to everything you say, well, most of the time.

    I somehow did kind of foresee that the helping dragon would have been slain by the dwarven cannon, but I had to let it run it's course, as it was way too funny.

    By now out Tiamat, correct my spelling if I get it wrong, should thing twice about sending help.