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Sunday 2 February 2014

Golden Age Non-Update: The Mystery Man who Ran a Country

Last night's game was cancelled on account of both rain and birthday party, thus we didn't get a chance to play an adventure with the Mystery Men.  So instead I'll mention that in the interim between last adventure and the next, there was an important conference that took place among Allied leaders in Canada.   The Mystery Men were not present, though the important powers each brought their own heroes as bodyguards: Churchill brought the Shining Knight; The U.S. brought The Patriot; and Canada's Prime Minister had The Canadian Shield to guard him. 

But maybe that last one shouldn't have bothered, since in fact, in secret (until after his death, that is), Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King was a "mystery man" in his own right.  Mackenzie King was Canada's longest-serving Prime Minister and guided that country through several important stages in its history, not least the Second World War.  The whole time, however, he also had a secret identity: from an early age, he'd developed the superpower of being able to speak with the spirits of the dead.  Mackenzie King was a Medium.

There's a picture of our heroic Prime Minister, engaged in channeling his dead mother for advice on important affairs.  Mackenzie King consulted his deceased mother's spirit more than anyone else in his seances (performed via crystal ball and ouija board), seeking her advice on all sorts of vital matters.  Of course, in affairs of state he did not only refer to mommy; he also relied on more serious advisers, like his dead mentor, the late Prime Minister Wilfred Laurier. And of course, his deceased dogs, all of whom were named "Pat".  This team of dead housewives, 19th century politicians and various Irish Terriers worked to secretly insure Mackenzie King's success in life and politics.

In case you're not Canadian (If you are, all of this should be old hat to you, and if isn't shame on  you!), yes, this is all true.  Canada's WWII-era Prime Minister, its longest serving and one of its most popular (who's face is on the Canadian $50 bill), was also its weirdest.

...Or then again, maybe not.  I mean, was WLMK any weirder than a Prime Minister who is an active and engaged member of something called the "Christian and Missionary Alliance Church", who hold as literal truth that the world is only 6000 years old, that evolution is a lie, and that climate change is a Satanic conspiracy?   I mean, at least Mackenzie King's ghost-terriers didn't seem to have given him any really terrible advice; as far as we know "Pat III" never suggested that his master should forge a secret alliance with Hitler, or something...  on the other hand, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has most definitely been drawn to serious politics by his own communications with ghosts (the Holy Ghost, in this case), to turn his back on every commitment Canada had ever made to the environment, to appoint Creationists as his Science Minister, and to write a blank-check declaration of absolute loyalty to Israel because he thinks its important for a prophetic apocalypse-timeline. 

So maybe Mackenzie King's woo-woo ideas weren't the problematic ones after all.


Currently Smoking: Stanwell compact + Image Latakia


  1. So I'm assuming the Canadian Shield is a person, and not just a shield-sized, beaver emblazoned nickel. Though, the Lyon King guarding himself with a giant, goofy coin would be fucking awesome. I see it becoming standard issue for all Canadian Mystery Men and eventually, by committee order, will be updated to Loonie shields. The R&D for the much rumoured TDS [Toonie Defense System] proved too expensive for the CanGov to complete, as centre piece would become dislodged on impact during extreme cold conditions, and the base cost of material was [naturally] double that of the previous model.